Big Sister-Baby Brother
by Andromeda2000
Summary: It's Hugo's birthday, and Rose is at Hogwarts. She misses him terribly, and thinks about him. Oneshot.


**Author's Note**

**This is written for a competition.**

**However, this is also written for my baby brother. It's his birthday today, and I didn't get to see him. So yes, darling, happy birthday, I love you so much. And I miss you. **

Rose was sitting in the Gryffindor common room. She was on her own, she didn't know where any of her cousins were, and honestly, she didn't care. She was staring outside the window, it was evening, her homework forgotten somewhere on the coffee table in front of the chair in which she was sitting. It was Hugo's birthday. Remembering it had Rose feel nauseous, and as if a hand was squeezing her heart.

She closed her eyes and tried to picture him last year. They had messed around all day, and he had ended up eating cake with his fingers, and then blaming it on her. Rose took a deep breath to stop herself from crying. She didn't understand why this hurt so bad. Hugo was fine, of course he was.

Rose played with a strand of her hair and smiled sadly when she remembered the first time she had seen her. She had been just a little more than a toddler herself, yet, she could remember it. That blue bundle all wrapped up in her mother's arms, squealing and taking away all the attention. She had obediently patted his head when she saw him, and kissed his tiny cheek like her mother had told her to. At first, when she realized she was going to have a baby brother, she had thought she would hate him. But when he was there, playing with her, taking his first steps, making up words… it was a completely different story. He was real. He was true. And he was perfect. Rose had known from the second he laid eyes on his tiny, round little face, from the second she had felt his hand around her finger that he would have a part of her heart no one else did. Because he was her little brother, and that was how it supposed to be.

She played every birthday party of his she could remember in her head, and realized with a painful pang that he was alone today. Of course, he had her mother. And Lily. And he had his uncles, and aunts, and his grandparents! But not his sister, not his big sister. She found herself wishing to floo away, go to him and shower him with kisses. She wanted to tickle him and hear him giggle, she wanted to chase him through the halls. She wanted to hold him tight and never let go of him, because Rose Weasley was his big sisters, and big sisters belong with their baby brothers. Big sisters are supposed to be there, they're supposed to scare away the monsters from the closet, and sneak off with chocolate in the middle of the night. Big sisters are supposed to reach for the cup of water when their little brothers can't yet, and they're supposed to correct them when they say something wrong. Big sisters are supposed to take care of their little brothers, but she couldn't.

Rose bit her lip and swallowed hard. He hadn't answered her letter. He always answered her letters. She remembered that when she was his age, she had refused to answer a letter from her father because he had been far away for so long and she was angry with him. And somehow, she was sure this was for Hugo too.

Guilt and missing him were tearing her apart, because all she wanted was her baby brother, but it was too much to ask, because she knew she wouldn't see him for a month. And even a small little month was too much to ask of Rose. She stood up, and started pacing, frustrated. She climbed up to her dorm, took out a small picture of her and Hugo when they were just 5 and 2 years old. Rose decided to talk to the smiling children, as if that could reach her little Hughie, the one who was now laying asleep, with none of her sister's lullabies for him to fall asleep to.

"Dear Hughie," she said, "I miss you so much. I am sorry for not being there. You have no idea what I would give to see you right now. I am sorry for not being there. I know you're angry at me, but you being angry at me isn't even a fraction of how angry I am at myself. I know there is nothing I can do, but the thought of your birthday without me is horrible. And it's not fair. It's not fair at all, but there's nothing I can do but sit here and wish you know that I love you. I love you more than the stars, and the moon, and the universe. I love you more than I can explain. Please don't be angry at me. I miss you. I miss you so bad." She kissed the little Hugo, and clutched the photo to her chest as if that were Hugo, and drifted off to sleep.


End file.
